Because you don’t leave memories behind.

Today was my last day at Asha Hospital, where I have been for over 4 years now. Where I have worked in positions ranging from the most basic to one of growing authority. But today was my last day and I never knew how I would feel until the day dawned. Asha was home, literally for a while and metaphorically for long.

The possibility of Hyderabad as a city I would live in had never even remotely crossed my mind until maybe a week before I moved to the city, just like leaving it wasn’t a plan until the time to leave had come. The city and this hospital have given me everything I could have asked for and then some more. But it was time to move on, to seek out a new land and learn some more.

What had been haunting me though was how I could repay my Alma Mater, how could I express my gratitude to my teachers and how could I let my patients know that they had helped me as much (if not more) than I had them. I had been wondering how I would leave so many memories behind and I had no answer.

As the last day went by, and I made my rounds in the hospital for my very last time, walked by corridors and rooms that I had walked by so many times I was feeling numb. I wanted to scream out my feelings but I had none, I wanted to smile at all the memories, I wanted to weep but I couldn’t, I couldn’t feel a thing. I met everyone, shook hands with them, embraced others and then packed up to leave as if in a trance.

And as I walked out, feeling empty, I knew finally, I knew how I could repay them, how I could be grateful and what I could gift this wonderful place that could balance the many gifts it had bestowed upon me. I knew that all I had to do was to remember the lessons they had taught, remember to be honest to what I had learned and remember who I owed it all to.

So I flicked my bag onto my shoulders
Took one last look back
Dabbed the corner of my eye
And then smiled to myself
And
Moved on!

because you don’t leave memories behind, you take them along with you!