There are just that many people you can make happy in your
life. And when I say ‘that many’ I mean just one. I’m sure you’ve figured by
now that I mean your own self. It is amazing that when you look back at your
life you realize that every time you made someone unhappy or hurt them was when
you yourself were unhappy or hurting. So just keep it simple, try and keep
yourself happy and you’ll see that happiness spreads infectiously, much like
the conjunctivitis my wife is suffering from.
Add to this the special hardship when you are one of a breed
of instinctive people. People who make decisions based more on instinct (distinguished
from impulse) than on elaborate thought or inspection. Such people when given
the gift of introspection fare very
poorly. Normally, when you make an instinctive decision and it’s the wrong one,
you move on from it to the next instinctual response. But when the mistake is
major and leaves someone you care for (apparently) irreparably hurt, you are
consumed by the demons of introspection, leaving you clouded in doubt. Suddenly
you are left thinking about the decisions you will make, wondering if they will
be right or wrong, trying to evaluate the pros and cons – a process that you
were hitherto unaware of. Thereby leaving you second guessing yourself; and
although the number of right and wrong decisions that you make by either
process remains the same the anguish associated with each decision (right or
wrong) is significantly elevated (p<0.0001).
So what is the answer? It would be simple – just go back to
that instinctive style of yours. But introspection is a gift you cannot return! But it definitely is one you can learn to
forget. Till then just go by what makes you happy (at least that way someone is
happy) and ignore the guilt that has already built. Along the way you will find
you have lost what you have ignored and are at peace with what you have
forgotten and that the instincts are back and the people who were unhappy are smiling
again.
